Chuck Norris enjoys clapping babies together like erasers. He calls it blapping.
Current Fact: 110 of 157
Welcome to Craptastic Voyage
Welcome to Craptastic Voyage, the flatulent end of the World Wide Web. Here you will find nothing of any intelectual or socially redeeming value, but it is all in good fun, albeit bad taste. If you are a sensitive enough person to be offended by the content of this site, please submit your name and contact information so we can start making fun of you right away. Some content may not be appropriate for children, especially retarded ones (you know who you are.)
NoNotmanyOnly a fewSeveral Many animals were harmed in the making of this website.
p.s. click the "Read More" links to expand an article, click the "Topics" link to the left for articles catagorized by topic.
Even MORE wardrobe greatness!
As always, click the picture to see a larger version. Enjoy.
Posted by admin on Tuesday, September 29 @ 19:03:41 CDT (154 reads)
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Why doesn't the U.S. do fun stuff like this?
This a clip of the ceremony performed every night at the India - Pakistan border. Why can't the U.S. do fun stuff like this, and furthermore, why can't the US military have cool mustaches like they do in India? It looks like the people really get into the pageantry, the whole thing looks like fun.
Posted by admin on Wednesday, July 22 @ 20:08:57 CDT (158 reads)
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Even MORE Wardrobe Coolness.
More examples of how cool I dress. Click the picture to see a bigger version.
Posted by admin on Thursday, July 16 @ 21:23:39 CDT (262 reads)
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Wonder Showzen!
Again, a new low is found, and it's called "Wonder Showzen". It ran for two seasons on MTV2, and is a mixture of animation, puppets, and live action. It is structured as if it were a kid's show, but like the warning says, "if you allow a child to watch this show, you are a bad parent or guardian."
Posted by admin on Wednesday, July 15 @ 23:27:42 CDT (233 reads)
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The Drinky Crow Show!
"The Drinky Crow Show" is a cartoon about a suicidal, alcoholic crow and his Uncle Gabby. The spend most of their time drinking and trying to have sex with whatever happens to be nearby. It's beyond tasteless, just like we like them. Below is a compilation of clips showing what happens on a regular basis. Click the image to watch the video.
Posted by admin on Tuesday, July 14 @ 21:38:39 CDT (137 reads)
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More Wardrobe Coolness.
For all you wardrobe challenged people out there, here's a couple of examples of how to dress as cool as me. As long as they are not copyrighted, you can have whatever you want made at Cafepress. Cool, eh? Click the picture to see a bigger version. If anyone wants the source files to make themselves one of these shirts, just email me.
Posted by admin on Monday, July 13 @ 21:13:37 CDT (149 reads)
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C.V. Contest: Win a Free C.V. Hat!
Welcome to the first ever Craptastic Voyage Celebrity Crash & Burn contest. All you have to do is guess the month that the chosen celebrity gets arrested for drug possesion, drunk driving, or any violent crime. The first celebrity is none other than. . .
Posted by admin on Friday, July 10 @ 19:22:18 CDT (184 reads)
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Houston, we've had a problem!
Skateboard + Kid = Hospital bill, plain and simple. Here's the latest injury, a dislocated toe. But, being the good parent I am, and more appropriately, being the cheapskate that I am, I elected to not spend money on anything trivial like novocaine while the doctor put it back in place. I did offer to punch the kid in the nads to distract him from the pain of what the doctor was doing. After all, I'm not COMPLETELY heartless. I also made him drive his truck home, bet he's glad he opted for a truck that's stick. After all these years of spending extra money on skateboarding shoes because "they protect your feet", I realize I was conned. Click the link for a bigger picture.
Posted by admin on Thursday, July 09 @ 14:10:41 CDT (141 reads)
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Too random for the 'Random Crap' topic?
Here's a Youtube video that I found, it's almost too random for the 'Random Crap' topic. Check it out.
Posted by admin on Sunday, July 05 @ 22:56:39 CDT (129 reads)
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UT2004 Spyder
This is the Spyder for UT2004. It is a giant node-killing/node healing machine that also heals and damages players and vehicles. This is the 2nd beta release, updated on 2/22/09. There are now 6 variants.
Posted by admin on Tuesday, January 01 @ 15:31:53 CST (401 reads)
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Two more UT2004 Mods added
These are two combos for UT2004. First is the Combustible Combo, which can be downloaded HERE.
It is a combo which makes fireballs shoot out of the player towards enemies. Enemies can be caught on fire, and those will set others on fire on contact, all the while giving the original source of the fire credit for the damage and kills.
Second is the Multijump Combo. It allows the activator to to a 15x multi-jump which is also a higher boost per jump. It can be downloaded HERE.
These are both Beta releases, please report any bugs to UT2004@craptasticvoyage.com.
Posted by admin on Saturday, February 21 @ 23:25:21 CST (198 reads)
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UT2004 Pro Assault Rifle
This is the Beta 1 release of the Pro Assault Rifle for UT2004. It is a modified Assault Rifle with an arena mutator included. The weapon itself is an assault rifle without grenades. It features a high rate of fire and ammo in it's 10 round magazine automatically regenerates. It's rate of fire is much faster than the rate at which ammunition regenerates, making fire discipline essential. It can be downloaded HERE.
This is a Beta releases, please report any bugs to UT2004@craptasticvoyage.com.
Posted by admin on Tuesday, February 17 @ 18:21:05 CST (197 reads)
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Superjail!
Superjail is another "Adult Swim" cartoon on Cartoon Network. It's about a huge jail, built in a volcano, which is inside a bigger volcano.
Posted by admin on Saturday, February 14 @ 22:21:39 CST (169 reads)
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Wicked No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies
julilynn46 writes" · 4 ounces butter · ¾ cup milk · 1 ½ cups sugar · 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips · 4 tablespoons crunchy peanut butter · 1 teaspoon vanilla extract · ½ cup cocoa · 3 ½ cups quick oats · ¾ cup chopped walnuts Preparation: Boil on a double boiler slowly while stirring frequently: chocolate chips, peanut butter, vanilla, butter, milk, cocoa and sugar; bring to a slow boil. Combine the hot mixture with the oatmeal and walnuts then stir well. Drop by spoonfuls onto waxed paper and chill about 2 hours (or until hard enough to eat)."
Posted by admin on Saturday, February 14 @ 16:41:06 CST (190 reads)
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Review: Carnivale.
Carnivale, another series cut short in it's prime. This was an HBO original series, created by Daniel Knauf. Two seasons that were produced out of the original six that were planned (12 episodes in each season), follow a traveling Carinval that roams the American dust bowl in the depression stricken mid 1930s. Great care has been taken to reproduce the language, mannerisms, clothing and other styles from that time.
Posted by admin on Sunday, January 11 @ 19:39:39 CST (454 reads)
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Coolest wadrobe in the Universe!
For all of those who are "Wardrobe Challenged", I'm posting pictures of
a large portion of my wardrobe. I hope some of you get some ideas.
Posted by admin on Saturday, January 03 @ 13:06:54 CST (263 reads)
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Remember that song "Lola"?
Dear Dr. Greg, I have a friend, Kelly, who is a post-op transsexual (she was once a he) and appears by most standards as an attractive female. However, Kelly is currently dating a man who does not know about her past. (She told me she'll tell him when she's sure he loves her.)
Posted by admin on Sunday, December 28 @ 12:53:03 CST (221 reads)
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Stinking Bishop?
Stinking Bishop? What is that you ask? It's a cheese produced in England, and it STINKS!
Posted by admin on Thursday, December 25 @ 23:18:49 CST (229 reads)
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Scambaits added!
I've added some scambaits, to get to them, click the topics tag or the "All Your Scambaiting Are Belong To Us" icon (The one with "419" on it). For those unfamiliar with scambaiting, it is simply responding to those Advance-fee Fraud scams, with the intent of making fun of the scammer and wasting their time. Please remember these have adult langiage and dialog, and some contain pictures that are inappropriate for children. Hopefully I can turn the scammer's greed into a laugh for someone else.
Posted by admin on Thursday, December 25 @ 15:23:16 CST (201 reads)
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Review: Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead!
The movie starts with Arbie and Wendy, two high-school graduates, making out in an ancient Indian burial ground. They are validating their relationship as Wendy prepares to leave for college soon, as Arbie is forced to stay due to family issues. Their activities apparently disturb some of the dead (and at least one living person), and they start coming back to life and reaching out of the ground. Within five minutes of the opening credits, we have zombies, nudity, and at least two acts of perversion. I'm liking it already.
Warning: Being infected by Zombie Chickens
has many side effects! Click the picture for a larger version.
Posted by admin on Sunday, November 09 @ 22:14:20 CST (727 reads)
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Desktop Depository
This is where people can submit their own Desktop images. Here are a few of mine, click the thumbnail to see the larger version. If you like the image, right-click on the larger version and select "Save Image As..." If you have one you'd like to submit, just email it to me at "desktop@craptasticvoyage.com" and I will add it to this page, which will be accessible from the main page, by a block on the right. Please do not submit the work of others, original material only, and please, no watermarked images. Artists will get full credit for their work.
These are mine:
Posted by admin on Monday, September 29 @ 22:07:10 CDT (347 reads)
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Squidbillies: Early tries to score some speakers
If you've never watched "Squidbillies", you should check it out. It's about a family of squid that live in the backwoods of Georgia (Squid + Hillbillies = Squidbillies). Here's a clip where Early tries to score some speakers from the local church.
Posted by admin on Wednesday, September 24 @ 23:22:26 CDT (276 reads)
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My Shimey, , I think I'll keep him
Tim, a friend I shared a room with when I was in Texas, whom I hadn't seen in 19 years, came to Alaska in August. Here's a picture of Tim, his son Charlie, and his Dad Gil.
Posted by admin on Saturday, September 13 @ 21:08:59 CDT (271 reads)
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William Murderface of Dethklok!
Here's little clip of William Murderface, the bass player for the band Dethklok, from the cartoon "Metalocalypse". He is only good at two things: Playing bass and headbutting.
Posted by admin on Saturday, September 13 @ 20:31:15 CDT (306 reads)
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This is just so wrong
This Sealab 2021 clip is wrong in so many ways. Click the picture to watch the video.
Posted by admin on Tuesday, July 22 @ 19:29:00 CDT (285 reads)
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Review: Braindead (Dead-Alive)
This
is Peter Jackson’s third feature length movie. It is a story of
Lionel, a young man living in New Zealand that is coping with his new
found love, and the loss of his overbearing mother. It is called
"Braindead" everywhere except the United States, where it
is known as "Dead Alive", and is 19 minutes shorter. That's
right, they had to cut part of the movie out to tone it down for its
release in the US. There is no nudity as a reason for this, just
gore.
Posted by admin on Wednesday, June 25 @ 23:36:20 CDT (444 reads)
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Zombie Survival Guide
Have you ever thought about what you would do when the dead start rising from their graves? Have you ever taken into consideration the level of security you could provide your friends and family if your area were ever invaded by zombies? Do you have what it takes to lead a group of survivors to a tactically advantageous location, fortify it, and co-ordinate it's defense from the undead? If not, or even if you just want to brush up on your zombiegeddon-surviving skills, I've put together this guide for you.
Posted by admin on Tuesday, June 24 @ 21:46:54 CDT (279 reads)
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The second inductee into the C.V. Hall of Fame!
This is the second person to be inducted into the Craptastic Voyage Hall of Fame. Who could it possibly be?
Posted by admin on Thursday, June 19 @ 00:24:48 CDT (385 reads)
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Review: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie
First, if you've never watched the Adult Swim cartoon "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", then prepare to be confused. It's not completely sensible, and goes in just about any direction imaginable. Click on the picture to view a short video clip.
Posted by admin on Wednesday, June 18 @ 00:41:17 CDT (1299 reads)
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Free software list
This is a list of some of the best FREE software available. Now, just because it is free, does NOT mean it's junk, and I believe that if more people realized that, the price of software would become a bit more reasonable. Please report any broken links to admin@craptasticvoyage.com.
Posted by admin on Tuesday, February 12 @ 20:57:34 CST (503 reads)
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