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Chuck Norris facts
Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can pee on whatever he wants.
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Review: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie
Posted on Wednesday, June 18 @ 00:41:17 CDT by admin |
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First, if you've never watched the Adult Swim cartoon "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", then prepare to be confused. It's not completely sensible, and goes in just about any direction imaginable. Click on the picture to view a short video clip.
Background: The Aqua Teens consist of Frylock, Master Shake, and Meatwad. Frylock is a floating unit of fast-food french-fries. He is highly intelligent, and the most normal of the group, for the most part anyways. Master shake is a milkshake with hands but no arms, and is lazy, self-centered, and when he doesn't get his way, he throws things that invariably explode. Last is Meatwad. Meatwad is a lump of rancid meat with a child-like mentality. He can also shape-shift into many things, but mainly sticks to a hot-dog or an igloo. Meatwad likes making dolls out of ordinary household items, and playing nonsensical video games such as "Clam Digger", "Video Ouiji", or "Video Knitting". They are all largely jobless, and spend most of their time doing random crap.
The Movie: This is a tough one, as it really doesn't have a completely linear storyline, often goes off on weird tangents, and contradicts itself on a fairly regular basis. Believe it or not, this is what makes the movie. The movie starts with a scene where Frylock is killed by a giant prophetic poodle, which Master shake promptly kills. The scene changes, making it apparent that was a story being told by Master Shake, which was all in all a ridicules answer to Meatwad's question of where they came from. The basic story, if there is one, is that in order to get women, the group, along with their neighbor Carl, assemble an excercise machine known as "The Insano-Flex". Upon activating it, the unit grows into a 4-story monster that roams the city, dropping little insano-flex eggs all over the place. Meanwhile, Carl, attached to the Insano-flex, is forcibly made to excercise until he is massivly muscled-up, to a point where he can barely move. The Insano-Flex is stopped when Master shake sings his song "Nude Love" to it, making it commit suicide (seemingly a tribute to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" song "Puberty Love"). Later, we find that Dr. Weird had created the Insano-Flex in order to use the muscles from it's victim so he could wear them like a suit in a fight with Frylock. This is contrary to the reason given by a robot (named "The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future"), which said the Insano-Flex was designed to make ONE man so buff that he scored ALL the women on earth, causing massive inbreeding and and end of humanity. While Frylock and Dr. Weird are fighting, Dr. Weird's assistant Steve has his soul consumed by a spirit that came from the timeclock he punched out on. Master Shake then kills Meatwad with a shotgun, prompting "Walter Mellon" to call over Neil Peart to play "The Drum Solo of Life" and ressurect Meatwad, but Dr. Weird declines to have Steve ressurected. Quickly thereafter, the Aquateen's Mother (A nine-layer bean burrito) appears. Meatwad then touches her breast, and the movie ends. The storyline changes from the belief that Dr. Weird created the Aqua Teens, to Frylock creating him, which is never really resolved.
One of the most interesting parts of the movie is the intro, which is reminicent of the old movie intros where animated refreshments dance on screen, singing, and urging viewers to go to the lobby and buy popcorn, soda, etc. This promptly ends with a death-metal version of animated refreshments singing threats of death and explicit violence to those that talk during the film, and exclaiming that they will spend the money people paid for admission on drugs. They also urge viewers that have brought small children to the theater to "Leave them in the street and run over them after the show". It should be noted that both the old-style dancing, singing refreshments and the Aqua Teens are animated foods.
Keep in mind, this is a very rough outline of the movie. About 80% of the movie doesn't really revolve around the main story, and I have left out a large portion of the movie and about half the characters, because they seemed to confuse the review.
Favorite quotes:
Ignignokt (after vomitting while riding a roller-coaster): My Nutrients, retrieve them at once, they have escaped!
Master Shake: Feel the sweet embrace of Satan's hoof against your face.
M.C. Pee Pants: Satan is a MotherF@#$*r.
Oglethorpe: Quick, someone's comming, everybody make out and kiss hard!
All in all, this is a very entertaining movie, if you just go with the flow. If you're not a fan of adult-oriented cartoons like on The Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim", then you probably won't like it.
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