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Chuck Norris facts
Chuck Norris's beard has a class 89 bulletproof rating, a class D fireproof rating, and an R723 insulation value, yet is still softer than the fur of a baby bunny.
Current Fact: 153 of 157
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Remember that song "Lola"?
Posted on Sunday, December 28 @ 12:53:03 CST by admin |
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Dear Dr. Greg,
I have a friend, Kelly, who is a post-op transsexual (she was once a he) and appears by most standards as an attractive female. However, Kelly is currently dating a man who does not know about her past. (She told me she'll tell him when she's sure he loves her.)
Frank is a nice straight man who I think should have known about Kelly's
secret a few months ago. Kelly is an old friend (from high school) whom
I stuck by through all the trials and pain she endured. Now I feel like
an accomplice to a huge lie. Do I tell Frank? Do I wait for Kelly? It's
a strange problem, and I have no one to ask. HELP!!
Dear Writer,
First things
first: If you DO decide to tell Jack about your friend's 'Lopitoffame',
make sure you do it when lots of people are around, and make sure you
get pictures. You can send them to Dr. Greg,
and I'll post them here for everyone to enjoy. Try something like "Hey
Frank, have you ever made out with a man?", and make sure you ask him a
half a dozen times or so if he's sure if he answers NO. This is like
having a drunk friend dance with a transvestite, only sober, and worse.
Second, your friend is a loony. I can not imagine having my
best friend surgically removed, even if I did get my own boobs in the
trade. He/She/It says she'll tell him when she's sure he loves her,
well that's a load of crap. That's like waiting until you're married to
tell the guy you have $100,000 in credit card debt, except in this
case, HE WAS MAKING OUT WITH ANOTHER DUDE. I would think a person's
natural gender would be an important fact when deciding IF they love
someone or not.
On to the cure: first, go rent, or even buy,
the movie "Terror Firmer". It will show you just what trans-whatevers
are really like. Just like in the movie, they waste all your drugs,
beat you to death with your best bong, and tend to de-fetus innocent
bystanders. Next, go watch Ed Wood's "Glen or Glenda". It's a quality
piece of work just like his "Plan 9 from Outer Space", except with
trannys instead of aliens. Next, as an attempt at reforming this poor
guy, go take him to see "Tank Girl". Tell him that he should never
date a woman that is more manly than Lory Petty's character. If he does,
expect the surprise wanger to enter conversation eventually. Last, you yourself should go watch "Yentl" about a dozen times as punishment for knowing and not acting sooner. ANY time a man unknowingly makes out with another man, anyone that had the opportunity to stop it but didn't is subject to torture of the Barbara Streisand type.
There you have it, problem solved with three good movies and one REALLY crappy one. If you have any questions or problems you need answers for, please write to Dr. Greg, (remove "NOSPAM" from the email address).
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